Client Successes

Scott's Story

Scott came to our Men’s Domestic Violence Intervention Program after being convicted of assaulting his wife.

At first, he told counselors and other group members how much he loved his family and did not want to hurt them. However, when his wife did something that angered him, he saw no choice but to use violence to change her behavior. He felt that if only his wife would change her behavior, then he would not hit her.

"So your way is the only way, and you have to hit to get it?" a group member asked. A therapist then questioned, "It’s ok for your wife to be afraid of you? What about your kids?" Scott said that he was careful never to hit his wife in front of his son or daughter, and that they did not know there was any violence at home.

"They know. I ALWAYS knew when my dad was hitting my mom — my brother and I hid under the bed and we could hear everything," another group member said quietly.

Scott blurted out, "My sister and I used to hide under the bed too!"

This realization was the beginning of Scott’s awareness of the damage domestic violence was doing to his family. It was also the beginning of a lengthy process resulting in a fundamental change in his behavior and beliefs.

Eighteen months later, Scott completed the program. His wife reported, "He’s more respectful to me and he’s more open about showing our kids he cares for them. He talks to all of us with a softer tone and tries to explain things to our children in a simpler way — more at their level."

At his last meeting, Scott told the group, "I know I will have to keep working on my issues every day. But I learned that no matter what happens, I don’t have to choose violence. I am not proud of how I was with my family, but I am proud of what I have accomplished."

More Success Stories